Sunday, September 24, 2023

Does My Mom Need Assisted Living

Live Life To Its Fullest

How to Find Assisted Living for My Mom on a Limited Budget? CASE STUDY

It is easy for us to assume that at this stage in Moms life, its ok that she isnt as social as she used to be, or that she spends most of her day alone and watching TV.

But why be isolated when there is still a life to live?

I feel it is our job, as family, to give Mom her independence back, to still have her own life and to start living again!

Worsening Health Problems Or Slow Recovery From An Illness

There are some health related red flags that you should take notice of to let you know that your senior loved one needs more help than they used to.Especially if they need more health care services than you can give or if you dont live in the same city they do.Ask yourself

  • Does it seem like it is taking your loved one longer to recover from a cold?
  • Is their blood pressure or insulin levels constantly abnormal?
  • Does something minor turn into something serious?
  • Do they have a health condition such as COPD or congestive heart failure that is getting worse?

Many assisted living communities offer medication management and on site medical care. Some have physical therapy or food service.These type of services allow your elderly loved one to live more independently than they would in a nursing home, while still getting the help they need.

Its Hard For The Family To Share The Load

Maybe the issue with moving your loved one into a nursing home isnt that theyre set on living alone, but that its hard for the whole family to see them make this transition.

Think about it like this: its easier to have the peace of mind that your parent or grandparent is in good hands at a nursing home than to stress over how you and other family members are sharing the load of looking after them.

Even if you all have the best intentions of helping them around their house or welcoming them into your own, the absolute best place for them to be might actually be a nursing home.

This way, your loved one will always have the attention and support they need without you having to change your plans and way of life.

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Reality: Thats Not True Its Not Possible To Control Someones Health Or Cognitive Ability

Its natural to second-guess ourselves, but the reality is that nobody can predict or control the future.

You might think that maybe things would have been different if youd kept your older adult at home.

But its also possible that the outcome would have been the same.

Or, things could have been worse if you hadnt decided to move them to assisted living.

Remember, you made this tough decision because the level of care they needed was no longer sustainable at home.

Theyve Begun To Isolate Themselves

Does My Parent Need Senior Living Services?

Has your loved one stopped participating in social activities they used to enjoy? Do they go days without leaving their house? If so, talk to them about why. They may be scared to drive or uncomfortable participating in social events that used to make them happy.

An honest conversation about why they spend so much time at home can help you get to the root of any problems that might indicate they should move to an assisted living facility.

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Does Your Loved One Require Help With Activities Of Daily Living

Activities of daily living , such as bathing, dressing, and mobility, present frequent concerns for seniors. Nearly 9% of adults 75 to 84 need personal care assistance, according to a 2017 report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention . This figure grows to 21% for seniors 85 and older.

Medication management stands out as one of the most common concerns for seniors and caregivers. In a 2020 A Place for Mom survey of more than 1,000 caregivers, 60% were considering a move to assisted living for their senior loved one due to issues with medication management. Errors in medication management can pose real danger for seniors: The CDC estimates 350,000 people are hospitalized each year due to medication mismanagement.

Assisted living communities provide help with medication management, bathing, and other daily tasks, which benefits both seniors and their caregivers. For Linda Lagesse, 78, who served as her husbands sole caregiver for nearly four years, ADLs motivated her to contact A Place for Moms Senior Living Advisors to find assisted living for her husband.

I bathed him. I dressed him. I tried to help him get exercise, Lagesse recalls. I was exhausted. It just got to be a lot.

Determining If It Is Time For Assisted Living

An assisted living community is a good choice for a senior who needs additional support with their activities of daily living . These activities may include dressing, showering, grooming, and toileting. Assisted living communities also provide socialization opportunities through events, programs, and excursions that make it easy to connect with neighbors and explore the greater community.

It might be time to explore assisted living if you or your loved one:

  • Feels lonely, isolated, depressed, or anxious.
  • Struggles with nutritional needs, such as grocery shopping, meal preparation, or healthy eating.
  • Needs a helping hand when it comes to daily personal care or household upkeep.

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Be Proactive With Long

It may be difficult for your parent to hear he needs assistance on a daily basis or to even consider moving from his home. However, when his health and safety are a concern, you dont want to wait until an accident or crisis happens.

It is always best to be proactive. The more time you have, the more opportunity you have to fully compare nursing homes to find the right fit for your parents need, comfort, lifestyle and affordability.

Benefits Of Assisted Living

Does Mom Need Caregiving Help in San Luis Obispo County

So, what are the benefits of assisted living you ask? Assisted living is a lifestyle. If you choose to be social, you can have an active lifestyle.

Assisted living allows for an active independent lifestyle with a full array of activities including outings to restaurants, the casino, or maybe a ride to enjoy the fall foliage in New England or holiday light displays with hot chocolates and caroling.

For residents that prefer privacy you may choose to not attend those outings or events. The choice is yours. Just going down to the dining room three times a day may be enough socialization for you.

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Q: What Is The One Thing That Many People Forget To Think About When Dealing With A Parent Who Is Refusing An Assisted Living Facility

Ms. Drelich: I believe it is that people are afraid of change, and because they currently living in the same location that they raised their family in, there may be very strong emotional component to change.

In addition, they may be afraid that they will not be able to manage the physical aspect of the move. They may need reassurance that help with the move will be provided, either by the family or by a senior move manager , and that the family will continue to be involved, perhaps even more involved.

Start Talking About Assisted Living As Early As Possible

Advanced planning discussions typically involve advance directives, but they should also include future care needs and preferences. The subject of assisted living can also be a bit more relaxed if you are talking about it before it is needed. Broaching the issue in the larger context of advanced planning can help make it less threatening.

Take the time to find out your parents preferences and any misconceptions they may have about assisted living. Take a look at finances and discuss the costs of assisted living versus in-home care and be clear about what insurance covers and doesnt cover.

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Do They Need More Opportunities For Socialization

Alongside these positive relationships with staff, seniors in assisted living also find connections with other residents. These friendships can help prevent senior isolation, as well as increase a seniors likelihood of participating in enriching activities.

If your senior loved one often seems bored at home, assisted living encourages residents to get involved with activities like fitness classes, happy hours, game nights, and more.

Lack Of Socializing Requires Some Intervention


Sometimes, older people have trouble making connections with others, especially if they live in an area where they have not yet had a chance to meet new people. If your parent had recently lost friends due to death or moving, they are most likely depressed about this situation. It is important to be able to converse with others.

If your parent is living alone and has no network of people to help them or talk with them, the question of when does my parent need assisted living may have been answered. In a senior living community, residents have numerous opportunities to socialize with their neighbors.

At Discovery Village At Deerwood, we focus upon the lifestyles of our clients and how to ensure that they remain active and engaged in relationships with others. We are considered a resort-like community, and we offer a variety of amenities and programs for our guests including:

  • Rovers Run Pet Park
  • Baileys Bistro

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When Is It Time For Assisted Living

More than one million older adults reside in assisted living communities, according to the American Health Care Association and the National Center for Assisted Living. These facilities offer access to 24-hour care for seniors who would benefit from some daily assistance but dont require skilled nursing or specialized dementia care.

Assisted living provides a good balance for individuals who need some assistance throughout the day, but who want to remain as independent as possible, says Barbara Levison, a geriatric care manager and the president of Floridas Aging Life Care Association chapter.

Is this popular care type the right fit for your senior loved one? Read on to learn key signs its time for assisted living.

Feel confident and prepared to tourThis downloadable guide helps you identify what to look for in a community and key questions to ask when you visit.

Chronic Or Worsening Health Problems

If declining health is a major concern, it might be time to make the move into an assisted living facility or nursing home. Likewise, if they’re taking longer to recover from illness or injury, this can be a sign of a weakening immune system they might need more care soon.

Talk to their doctor if you feel concerned. Having full-time care in an assisted living facility or skilled nursing facility might improve their health. If your loved one is still well enough, they should be involved in the choice.

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When Is Assisted Living Right For My Parent

Assisted living is typically the right fit for:

  • Seniors who do not require a high level of care but no longer are able to live on their own.
  • Seniors who may need assistance with medications, activities of daily living, meals and housekeeping, but they do not need care available 24/7.
  • Seniors who could still live alone in a private apartment with assistance scheduled as needed.

Love Takes Time Take It Slow

How Does Assisted Living Become Home For My Mom?

Of course you love your parents, so you have to take everything slow once they reached their senior years. Want to take them to a doctor? How about asking the doctor to do home visits instead? Need to speak to a therapist for your parents cognitive impairment? Why not ask him to do the session in your parents favorite coffee shop?

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Hard Truth About Moving Your Parents Into Assisted Living #: It May Not Even Be An Option

After you figure out if they can afford it, youll need to find a place that offers what they need. In some cases, your parents may already need more care than an assisted living facility can provide. This could be the case if they need medical care like blood monitoring or injections for diabetes. Or if they need memory care and the community they choose does not offer it. There isnt a national standard that defines what services an assisted living community offers, so try to be clear about what your parents need. Ask questions to verify whats included in the monthly fee

Hard Truth About Moving Your Parents Into Assisted Living #: Its Not Your Choice

Unless your parents are already fully financially and physically dependent on you to maintain their lifestyle, its their choice where they live. Your choices include if, when, and how to help. Thats a hard pill to swallow when you see them going down a path you wouldnt choose for them. On the upside, accepting this can improve these sometimes difficult conversations with your parent.

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Signs Your Parent May Need Assisted Living

How do you know a parent needs more help than you can give? Heres how to tell when they need assisted living.

Sometimes, its easy to see the signs. Maybe your parent experienced a fall or received advice from her physician that its time to consider assisted living. But, sometimes the signs are tougher to see.

You may notice your mom forgot to lock her front door once or twice, or forgot to turn off the stove. Maybe your dad forgot to take his medicine a few times last month. It can be difficult to identify a shift in a seniors ability to care for herself, or a physical or cognitive decline. So how do you know when these are signs that they need full-time care?

Does My Parent Need Assisted Living?Generally, adult children visiting their parents observe a few memory lapses or behavioral changes, and they consider these occurance isolated incidences, says Carmel Dolcine-Joseph, Corporate Director of Clinical Services and Memory Care Programming at Elder Care Alliance, a network of four elder care communities offering assisted living in California.

Adult children may think its just old age, that mom just forgot to eat breakfast that morning or make her bed, Dolcine-Joseph says. Incidents of cognitive difficulty or behavioral changes are pieces of a puzzle, painting a bigger picture that adult children usually cant see.

Those puzzle piecesindicating a parent needs care and supervisioncan be difficult to assemble on your own.

Inability To Manage Home Or Yard Upkeep

Talking to your parents about assisted living

Are the dishes done and bathrooms cleaned regularly? If your loved one cant keep up with housework, an assisted living facility could reduce their stress level and provide a more sanitary living space.

Although they might enjoy owning a home, the upkeep may be more than they can handle. Talk to them about if theyd prefer to live in a place where they wont have to worry about maintenance and upkeep.

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Requiring Help Beyond Assisted Living Services

If you find that your loved one is requiring increasingly higher levels of care, or if they are always in need of familiar companionship, this is another sign that a transition to memory care may be approaching. Assisted living is a care option meant to allow friends and family respite from constant care yet giving them the freedom to visit and socialize whenever they can . However, families starting to find that assisted living does not provide the care needs or depth of support needed by a loved one due to dementia should consider memory care as the next step. Your loved one may begin calling more frequently, asking you to stay longer, or behaving more needy during your visits.

Memory care is designed to help seniors not only live comfortably but also experience their senior living in a more guided and supported way. This includes helping them avoid overstimulation and situations that they have come to find upsetting, helping them to feel supported and safe, and helping loved ones to keep visits more fun.

Maintaining Relationships With Seniors And Staff

As dementia progresses, a seniors ability to maintain relationships also changes. They will need people around them who understand dementia and can provide a gentle form of company that does not demand consistent memory continuity. Most seniors in assisted living are not experiencing dementia and are not trained in supporting relationships with a dementia patient.

The nurses and staff in memory care understand dementia and help residents maintain relationships with both staff and other residents. Furthermore, memory care staff can help coach family and friends on how to communicate with their loved ones to produce happy and rewarding interactions. If your loved one is having difficulty maintaining relationships or seems to be withdrawing from their friends in assisted living, or even forgetting who their friends are, it may be time to make a transition to memory care.

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Changes In Their Eating Habits

When figuring out how to know when to move parents into assisted living its important to establish what your parents eating habits are. Changes in eating habits might indicate that they might need some help that can be provided for them in assisted living.

Some things to look for are whether your parents are eating healthy meals if they have fresh food in their refrigerator and unexpired food in their pantry. A loss of appetite and decreased weight might also be a sign that a move to assisted living is necessary.

Acknowledge That Change Is Hard

Moving Your Parent’s Into Assisted Living or a Nursing Home? Here Is What To Do

Be aware that when a parent does move, leaving behind a home full of memories and often beloved belongings could spur a grieving process. Its important to let them go through all those emotions and to try to not minimize it, notes Leonard. Let them be frustrated and angry. Let them be sad.

That means that you have to acknowledge the difficulty of the move as well. When you try to dismiss it and say itll be fine, then they are more likely to try to fight it, points out Leonard. They have to process it, to have it click in their mind that this is reality. Its better to say, Its going to be hard, but we have to focus on your health and safety.

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